and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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