I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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