is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
