I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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