Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
