Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
