I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
