your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
