we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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