I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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