But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Randomize
