im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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