Tell her she can't have a vagina
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
