Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
