Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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