I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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