My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Randomize
