Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
