We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
