then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
