last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
