we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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