I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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