do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I've blown a few things in my day
you win again, gameday.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
