we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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