im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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