yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
She's the barista slut.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
