My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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