I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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