I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Never joke about your clitoris.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
