Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
