My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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