OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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