He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
