You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
