ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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