too bad you live with your parents still
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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