Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
