Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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