would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
