Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
wow bdsm is so cute
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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