what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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