You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
We don't watch enough power rangers
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
