i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
