It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
