that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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