I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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