I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
