Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize