fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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