You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize