I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
