im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
