I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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