She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Boobs speak an international language.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
