I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
