She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
love makes seman taste better
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
