woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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