We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
