Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I'm bleeding and have questions
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